Reuben sitting on tree stump

Know That You Weren’t Left Behind.

11th September 2017

My Sweet Boy,

The last few months have been so difficult for you to understand. I know they have. I’ve seen you sad, you’ve told me that you don’t want to go to preschool. I left you to it, not because I didn’t care please don’t think that, but because I assumed it was down to me going back to work and a slight change in routine. I’m sorry I didn’t think.

You see, you’ve always been so grown up and sometimes I forget that you’re only three. You’ve always been older than your years but the one thing that you’ve always struggled with is talking about how you feel. You’re like me in that respect. I need to remember that I have to ask the questions to get you to open up.

I don’t think I will forget the day the ‘penny dropped’. You had been talking about school on and off but nothing out of the ordinary considering how many people you know go to school. But this particular day, we had just arrived at the preschool and the graduation gowns were going in. I turned to you and explained how your friends were going to be having their photos taken as they were leaving school but you wouldn’t be as you weren’t leaving. Assuming you would be fine, I was not prepared for you to say those words. “I don’t want to go to preschool Mummy”. In that one sentence you completely opened up to me. You didn’t realise you had and I felt terrible that I hadn’t realised sooner. The nursery had been preparing the class, your friends, for school but you wouldn’t be going.

It was the thought of being left behind that was making you sad.

I spoke to your key worker, she was amazing. She made plans to help you understand the changes that were happening. Arranged for you to meet the children that were going to come up with you. You relaxed, you were happier, you were you.

It must have been so confusing for you, you had been with your friends since you were one, each room change you went together. You were always together. They were your best friends. Then they were going to leave and you weren’t, all because your birthday is October, six weeks earlier and you would be going as well my darling but that can’t be helped.

The day came when they all left and I thought you would find it hard but you were fine.

Some of your friends stayed over the summer and this made you happy. It worried me that this would confuse you but you took it all in your stride. I know that the staff at the nursery played a massive part in this especially your key worker.

Now they have all left and last week was your first week back with the new children. I was worried, really worried. So much was changing this week; new children in the room, a change of staff and a new key worker. But you didn’t worry, you were excited about returning. You seemed a little nervous when we first got there but that afternoon you came home full of excitement telling me all about your new friends. You were even more happy the next day when you saw the other little boy who had stayed this year.

I worry, of course I do I’m your mum, it’s my job. I will always worry but for now my sweet little boy this is one thing I no longer have to worry about because I know that you’re happy.

You know you was not left behind. Your time will come.

JakiJellz

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  • Me, Being Mummy

    Awww, it really is so much for them to adjust to when they are so little isn’t it? Am so glad he opened up to you about it. Thank you for linking up with the #HoneyBeeLinky, hope to see you again for the next one tomorrow xxx

    • It is a lot and some big emotions to deal with when they don’t really know what they mean! See you tomorrow lovely x

  • Jaki

    Aw it’s so hard isn’t it? I felt the same worries about Little Man starting school as not many of his friends were going with him, but he seems to have taken it in his stride. I’m glad your little one is okay. Thank you for linking up to #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again tomorrow.

    • It is hard, I’m sure there will be lots of difficult things to go through and they are probably more resilient than we give them credit for. But it’s that vulnerability at the start…. x

  • Our boys are the same age, and going through the same thing. Ever since my son started nursery last April he’d been best friends with the same little boy. His “grown up” hadn’t told me that this friend was off to “big school”, and suddenly my son’s been really sad at drop off. Thankfully, he’s made two new friends, who will be off to school at the same time, and now he’s settled again, but it broke my heart. He struggles to get involved with other children, he’s hesitant like me when it comes to talk to other people, and he seems to have really struggled to explain to me why nursery made him sad. I’m glad your little man seems to be happier again now!

    • Oh that must have been harder, not being prepared or knowing they were going. I was fortunate that the preschool had prepared me for what was happening. I hope your little one settles soon enough and enjoys his last year at preschool x

  • The_tale_of_mummyhood

    Change is so difficult, my eldest will be going to preschool soon and I’m already worried about how she’s going to feel. Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

  • Annette, Four Acorns

    What a lovely heartfelt post, so beautifully written. I agree that talking with kids about their emotions, and ours, is the key to many parenting struggles. Best of luck to your little guy on his last year of preschool. x
    #TriumphantTales

    • Thank you! It really is important, and difficult! But I really want him to know it is OK to talk about how you feel. x

  • Neil

    What a lovely post. Trying to help little children understand change is so hard. My Daughters little heart broke when her older friend moved on to school and left her behind. It didn’t last long but the feeling of helplessness won’t leave me for a long time.

    • Thank you. Yes it is really hard to help them when change is so difficult to understand as an adult.