Here we are, a few days after your first birthday and I find myself reflecting on the last twelve months. I had planned to write this before your birthday but as always the days were hectic and time ran away.
Before I knew it you’re birthday was here.
The last twelve months have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. It all started when I was pregnant with you. You see I was so worried that things were going to be different for you. Were you going to get the one on one time that Reuben had? Were you going to feel left out? Would I love you both same?
I know now that the last one was the most ridiculous thought I have ever had.
The day you were born my heart grew bigger so there was plenty of room for loving you both.
As for the other worries, sure life has been different for you. You’ve not had the one on one time like Reuben did, well not from me anyway. But you have had that time with Reuben. The big brother who adores you. So whilst life has been different, it has not been less. You have had more. More love, more laughter, more people.
When you arrived everything happened in a bit of a whirlwind and it took some adjusting, it was a learning curve. Not by you and Reuben, but for me. I had a lot to learn. Going from one child to two children was tough. I hope you didn’t feel left out or cross with me when you cried for longer than I would have liked. But we got there in the end didn’t we!
The worst day of my life was when your temperature rose so high and we couldn’t get you to wake properly. I was terrified and just thankful that when the ambulance crew rushed through the door you gave a cheeky grin. You then spent the whole afternoon smiling at everyone, wondering what all the fuss was about you little monkey!
I have experienced all your firsts, rolling, sitting, standing and now walking.
With each first I jumped for joy, squealed with delight and praised you. But with each first came a little sadness as I know that the first is done and I will not experience that again. Don’t feel bad of me for feeling like that, it’s a strange thing to explain. You have completed our family and for that we are so happy, but it means that you are growing up. It is happening so fast and I’m just not ready.
You have a cheeky grin and are always smiling, everyone comments on how happy you are. It is true you are the happiest person I know. You are starting to show some of your personality and it excites me. I have a feeling you are going to be a bit of a handful and will give Reuben a run for his money. You babble loudly and it sounds like you’re trying to boss him around already. He dotes on you and will do anything to make you smile, even if it means he gets in trouble. You laugh. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with both of you causing chaos. Another learning curve I’m sure.
So here we are my beautiful baby girl, you’ve flown into being one and now hurtling towards being a tear away toddler.
You’ve brought us joy and happiness. You’ve brought us tears. But most importantly you brought us you.
Beautiful, happy Jessica.
Happy Birthday my beautiful baby girl
Birthday cake by The Non Skinny Baker