Welcome back to the Share Your Story series. Last week Stacy from Kiss Your Money spoke about her story, a rollercoaster of up’s and down’s. This week Dayma from Women Undefined is sharing her story about depression. Over to you Dayma…
My name is Dayma Garcia, born in Cuba, raised everywhere! I lived in Miami, then Georgia, and now I’m in Kentucky. When I am not writing, reading, working out or researching, I’m a mom to a beautiful little girl, and a fur baby. Along of course with being a wife to my handsome husband. Growing up I didn’t have the best childhood. I went through a few experiences, which then led to anxiety and depression as an adult. This negative experience inspired me to create my blog in which I help you regain confidence in yourself, gain motivation to fulfil all your dreams and achieve your aspirations, and become best version of yourself possible!
My Depressive Slump
I am not sure at what moment exactly my life slump started, I just know that from one day to the other I lost all my motivation. I did not want to get up from bed, I no longer knew what my purpose was in this world. Was I destined to just settling being a mom and a housewife? Was this really all there was to it?
I knew that I had potential to be something greater, but I was so stuck in my hole that I couldn’t see past the darkness and sad reality of life. Eventually I ended up having many anxiety attacks and being diagnosed as “very depressed.” This diagnose, of course, did not help the situation.
All my life, I always heard of “depressed people” and how miserable their lives were, and I couldn’t accept that this was it for me.
My life now consisted of taking anxiety and depression pills every day just to get out of bed. The thought of living this way for the rest of my life overwhelmed me and depressed me even more. I was not the same person anymore, I missed the old me, the always smiling and laughing me. Now all I could see was sadness and emptiness. Seeing the negative in every situation, and just complaining about every single little thing. I had become my worst nightmare.
I started turning to unhealthy habits to cope with my depression.
Until one day I had to see myself in the mirror for what I was becoming and had a breakdown. A good cry. Release all those emotions type of breakdown, but it was exactly what I needed.
Once I got myself together I started writing, I wrote all, and any thoughts that came to my head. I described what I was feeling. How I think I got to that point. All the way down to what my aspirations were. Where I wanted to be in a few months, nothing too long-term just some short very realistic goals.
I still had no willpower or motivation to actually go through these changes, therefore I started meditating.
I kept hearing and seeing this word everywhere I went. Mind you I had never meditated before in my life, so it was a little awkward at the beginning but I did not stop. I kept persevering and trying to make that mind connection stronger. Started listening to positive and reinforcing affirmations, and the more I listened the more I realised, not that I had no purpose in life, but that I just had to re-discover who I was after being married and having a baby.
I had lost myself in the way.
Lost touch with my goals and aspirations in life and just gave in to the daily routine until my mind and soul could not keep up any more. I had to re-create my life, as I was no longer by myself, now I had taken two new roles in my life.
I am so glad I went through the slump that I did.
Not because I enjoyed it or any of that. But because I needed that slap in the face. That sit down with reality.
To re-define my goals and what I expected life to be at some point. I had to get real with myself and change things I had neglected before. For instance, my own desires and things like self-care as I used to think I would never be able to achieve this because I never made time for my own mental health.
In this life and time, I feel that it’s so easy to get distracted in the routine of life, and fall into a slump where we feel that we don’t know what course our life is taking anymore. I invite you to stop, breathe in deeply a few times, inhale all the smells around you. Notice all the small things that are there, but we do not stop and make time to acknowledge these changes. As small as they seem they were the turning point for me and what reminded me that I too, have a purpose. A reason for being, a reason for existing.
Thank you Dayma for sharing your story. Meditation is supposed to be very good for giving yourself some peace. I’m glad it is helping.
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