Welcome back to the Share Your Story series. Last week Catherine from Paint the Face of Anxiety who’s sharing her story on living with Agoraphobia. This week we have the lovely Jenna from Glitz & Glamom sharing her story on dealing with changes in your friendships… Over to you Jenna.
Glitz & Glamom
Hey everyone! My name is Jenna Ricciardi. I am the founder of Glitz & GlaMOM as well as NJ MAMApreneuer Networking.
Mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend! I am from Brooklyn, NY & now reside in the NJ suburbs. Hope you can follow along on my journey!
Navigating Changes in Our Friendships
Friendships are what get us Moms through the hard days.
Having a Mom tribe we can depend on for support, laughs and a judgment-free zone to vent is NECESSARY! Friends are there through the good, the bad and the ugly. Every Mom needs a support system, whether it is a few amazing friends, or a larger circle of fellow moms to lean on. One hopes that if you are a good friend, there for your friends and treat your friends well, that the same will be done in turn for you.
Sadly that is not always the case.
Making friends has always been easy for me. I’m super chatty, honest, funny, and no-drama kind of gal.
I consider myself to be a good friend; I listen, I remember, I follow-up! Since becoming a Mom, I made adjustments to make sure I can still be a good friend (like writing down important things in my calendar regarding friends so that I don’t forget). When my oldest daughter was 6 months old, we began a wide array of Mommy & Me classes where I met most of my current besties! We were all able to bond over the loss of sleep. The hard days, the sweet smiles, milestones and everything else that goes along with being a new mom.
While I am so grateful for all of the amazing friends and friendships I now have, there is a sadness that comes with friendships that have changed with time with other friends.
What do you do when you are a good friend to others but it is not reciprocated?
When you ask about all the details of a friend’s life but they never ask about yours?
What do you do when you take an interest in loving and knowing your friend’s kids, but they don’t take an interest in yours?
When you constantly make plans with a friend (or try to), but they don’t ever make plans with you?
One sided-friendships are hard to maintain. There is a frustration that comes with feeling like the only one sustaining a friendship. When you are around people on one hand who truly love your kids, truly love YOU, support your dreams and then on the other hand see people who are the complete opposite but are a “friend,” it can be saddening and hurtful.
When you are a Mother, time is not always on your side. You have kids to fully rely on you (especially if they are young), a husband, work, a household to maintain etc. Friends are supposed to be there for you and bring you happiness and laughs, not sadness and stress.
If you see a friendship is starting to change, what do you do?
I am a big believer in communication.
If the friendship is worth saving, talk to the person, try to figure it out.
If the situation becomes toxic, or unhealthy, than it is best to walk away. No one should be in any relationship that is not healthy for them, including friendships. Not every friendship will stand the test of time. Friendships should be 50-50 or close when it comes to effort and sustaining a relationship.
As a Mom, you want your friendships to be strong, healthy, fun, and joyful. Find yourself a group of friends who supports you in all you do, listens to you on a hard day and loves your kids as if they were family. Make sure you do the same for your friends as well, and make sure you surround yourself with a Mom tribe who truly has your back!
Thank you Jenna for sharing your experience with changing friendships. You’re right, a lot of friendships can come under strain when you have children, a time when you could do with lots of friends!
If you would like to follow Jenna some more than head over to her socials;