Welcome back to the Share Your Story series. Last week Michelle from MediumsNetwork is sharing her story believing in your abilities. This week I have the very lovely Kendra from A Rising Phoenix talking about her experience of adoption.
A Rising Phoenix
I am 22 years old, engaged and have recently started my blog. It’s not even a month old yet. My fiancé and I have 1 dog who is a German Shepherd/Border Collie and is almost 4 years old. I am adopted and have 11 other siblings, both biological and through adoption.
My Adoption Story
At 22 years old, engaged and building my dreams, I often find myself thinking about how this life may never have come to fruition had I not been adopted. The more that I think about it, the more I feel inclined to share my story with others. So I decided to just go for it. I’m going to be honest, I don’t remember a whole bunch about my childhood before I was about five years old. What I do remember is pretty vague, and a little saddening.
I don’t honestly believe that all of the details can be condensed into one post.
My birth parents were not stable people.
At the age of nine years old my older sister pretty much raised me and my younger sibling.
They both loved me and my siblings incredibly though. I know this because I’ve been told reverently many times that my birth father did, and because my birth mother chose to give us up for adoption.
But, a loving parent does not always make a good one.
The first time that I was taken into care I’m told that they picked me up from a bar at three or four years old.
I lived in three or four foster homes after that, from what I remember. They were all good ones, all but one of them ended up not working out.
When I was six, I went back to live with my birth Mom.
There were many experiences that I had during this time. Like calling emergency services because of an altercation between my birth mother and step father. Listening to her beg them not to bring the police, or being surrounded by people who didn’t make me feel safe.
I remember many times listening to screaming from my bedroom and not knowing what would happen.
This lasted for about half a year until she decided that it would be better for me to be adopted. The details are fuzzy, but it came after my stepdad had gotten angry with me for turning the television up “too loud”. I was pulled into my birth Mom’s bedroom and asked “do you want to continue to live with me, or would you like to live with another family”. I never gave it much thought after I gave her my answer, but it must have taken a lot to ask me that question.
This decision was born out of selflessness and knowing that my sibling and I deserved better.
Thanks to this decision, we were able to go into dance. We were able to do sports, and we didn’t have to worry about the stability of our home. I was able to graduate with big dreams, although those didn’t actually come until the past year or so. Meeting the amazing man who I did, I’m sure was also made possible by this decision of hers.
This truly was the best decision that she could have made for me. I will always be grateful for it.
Even though I was an angry and hurt kid, that is the path that I needed to take to become who I am today. To be surrounded by the people who I am today. I will never tell another being how they should feel about their adoption story because that is their’s to experience, but this is how I feel about mine.
Adoption isn’t pretty or a fairytale. Nor should it be a back up plan. But adoption is love; and I am forever grateful for love.
Wow Kendra. This is such a positive way of looking at the experiences that you have had. I’m completely in awe and lost for words.
If you would like to read more about Kendra then head over to her socials;