You may recall from one of my first posts this year that I found last year hard. It was a busy year and lots of great things happened. Really great things (you can read the post here if you missed it) In amongst all of the great things, I became very stressed trying to juggle lots at once and it was only when I took a step back at the start of the year that I realised that I had just completely forgotten to look after myself. Not only physically but mentally. I took on more and more and put myself under a lot of pressure and it had a knock on effect.
In one way I’m glad I pushed myself to that point. It made me realise that I had been doing it for a while, just not to the extent of last year. I’ve busied myself with one thing or another but I haven’t really done anything for me. So. this year I made a promise to myself that I was going to put me first some times. I was going to be selfish. Top priority in 2019 for me, self care.
Self care is important.
Self care is being spoken about a lot at the moment. This is a good thing and only positive can come from it. I think it is one of the reasons I took that step back, evaluated what was happening.
I was crying, a lot. For no real reason. One minute I was fine, the next I would be upset or shouting. I would fixate on things, and worry and panic when there really wasn’t any need. This is not me. I’ve always been fairly rational (except when Aunt Flow arrives) but I have been a complete nightmare and I felt powerless to stop it.
I needed to do something. Something that would get me out a bit. But what?
What could I do, that was for me, out of the house, that wouldn’t break the bank?
Girls days and spa days are great. But they are one day, I wanted something a bit more regular. So, I made the choice to start going to fitness classes. Now, I’ve done this in the past because I want to lose weight, tone up. Guess what happened then, I would always give up. This time I’m doing it because I want to, no pressure. It’s to get me out of the house. The ‘getting fit’ side of it will be an added bonus.
It already feels different this time. If I don’t want to go, I don’t go. Simple. I’m not going to feel bad about it. I think because of that I want to go. My sister goes with me 3 times a week. We chose 3 classes, Monday is Glowbeatz, Thursday Step and Sunday Spin. For us, Monday is our fun, dance it out session, Thursday is our “oh god this is going to hurt” session and Sunday, well we’ve always like spin so it’s just one we enjoy.
I’ve been going for 4 weeks or so now and I feel better.
Noticeably better. I’m sleeping better for one thing and so that naturally improves my mood. The tears are less often, they still arrive with Aunt Flow, they always have but I have been an easier person to live with. I feel livelier, healthier, happier. I’m not saying that going to fitness classes will mean I’m not going to have moments, but the moments are less often. I’m not just bursting into tears and not knowing why I’m crying.
I’ve realised that I need to be happy within myself to be able to be the best version of me. The version of me that my children (and husband) need. More importantly, the version of me that I need me to be.