lady in shower

Kindness When You’re At Your Most Vulnerable

21st September 2017

Recently I was reading an article in the Daily Mail about a photo that had gone viral. A photo of a nurse helping a new mother go to the bathroom after she had given birth. Read it here.

It really struck a chord with me as to how kind nurses and midwives are. How sensitive they are when we are at our most vulnerable. The things they do. This story got me thinking about my experience with the nurses after my labours.

Being Vulnerable

Do you remember what it was like? The moments after you had given birth. The elation and joy that your baby was here. The complete exhaustion from child-birth. I remember it very well with Reuben. My labour was long, he was back to back and I was exhausted. I hadn’t coped well with the pain and was given pethidine but it was quite late in my labour. It wasn’t long after I had been given it that Reuben was born.

We had our time together bonding through skin to skin and feeding.
I had my tea and toast, the most amazing tea and toast in the world. Then the nurse in the room asked if I would like to have a shower. That was a no brainer, of course I did! I felt pretty gross.

The nurse came over to help me out of the bed but I felt awful. I told her I couldn’t get up because I felt dizzy. The dizziness made me feel sick. She told me to relax on the bed and spoke to my midwife. They had to re-weigh my bed sheets to make sure that I hadn’t lost too much blood but I was OK. It was the pethidine that was making me feel poorly.

The nurse came back to see if I wanted to try again and I said I didn’t, I felt like I was going to fall over and just didn’t want to get in the shower.

She was so kind

The nurse got a bowl and some clean cloths and she bathed me in my chair. The kindness she showed me. She was so respectful so that I didn’t feel embarrassed but she didn’t want to leave me when I had wanted a shower. It meant the world to me that I was able to be clean after labour.

I still remember her, she was a friendly lady and was so helpful. She helped to dress Reuben and then she cared for me. She respected our privacy when needed and brought me extra toast when I asked. I could tell that she done these things because she enjoyed her job.

The next time I saw her

Was after I had given birth to Jessica. This time I was much more coherent. I hadn’t had any pain relief and was able to shower myself. I was on a bean bag in the midwife unit, not the most comfortable position after birth. She peered her smiling face around the door. I remembered her straight away. She obviously had no idea who I was but she was just as kind. Asking if I needed anything, readjusting my cushions so that I was a little more comfortable, more blankets to cover me up.

Nurses amaze me

They work so hard and are always up against it. This doesn’t change anything. The kindness they show. The time they give you. It is unquestionable. They do their job because they love it. They help because they are kind. And they are there when you are your most vulnerable.

Thank you for being so kind! 

Do you remember your midwife and nurses that looked after you? I would love to know your stories below.

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  • Mrsmummyharris86

    This is such a lovely post, unfortunately with Ben’s birth and the hustle and bustle of going to NICU, the immediate aftercare was non-existent. HOWEVER, there was one midwife on the ward who helped me so much with confidence and was known by everyone as the milking queen. She made me feel like I was doing an amazing job and told me to go to sleep when I was fighting it. They all do an amazing job! God bless the NHS!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales.

    • I always find this a shame to hear. Parents that are caught up in that hustle and bustle probably need the most support yet they don’t always get it. The milking queen, ha ha, brilliant name. They do an awesome job and are under so much pressure! x

  • Lucy Fisher

    Oh I adore this post. What a lovely thing to have done and to remember. My midwife Yvette meant by daughter was born alive, she passed away a few days later – but because of Yvette’s love and quick thinking I became a mummy. 4 years later she delivered my son x

    • Oh I am sorry to hear that but glad you were able to spend a few days with her x

  • Lisa Pomerantz

    Lovely post about a very special group of kind and loving caregivers. #ThatFridayLinky xo

  • Lucy Grace Healey

    They truly are amazing… I remember being helped to the shower after I had George and, even though we didn’t truly know each other, the warmth and support was just so ‘there’. Xxx

  • Neil

    Our maternity ward nurses were amazing and we owe a lot to them. Breastfeeding support however, left us feeling a bit stressed. Being the son of a nurse though I’d always want to big them all up!

    • You know, I had two experiences with breastfeeding. The first time I couldn’t have asked for better help, the second time my community midwife didn’t seem comfortable with helping, I resorted to YouTube videos!

  • We’ve had a lot of hospital stays over the years so we’ve seen a whole range of nurses – from the lovely, helpful ones, to the abrupt, no-nonsence ones. Sometimes I get upset at the ones that are not very empathetic, but I always remind myself that I could never do their job – they really are amazing people and, as you say, care for people in so many different ways.

    And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #blogcrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

    • I think I would get upset by that too, but then like you say they have a hard job and sometimes I guess they have to harden themselves to deal with some of the things they see.

      Oooo, thanks, I’ll pop over and get it x

  • Nahdia

    Aww seems like you had a lovely nurse. That is so important after having a child. I don’t remember the nurse who delivered my first, my eyes were shut the whole time.

    • I don’t remember the midwife that delivered Reuben as much as the nurse who helped me afterwards but they all do such a wonderful job. :)x

  • Kim Scotland

    This is a lovely post and one I can relate to all too well. I had a difficult birth with my daugher who was also back to back. She ended up being delivered via forceps and fractured her collar bone during the birth. We had a lovely midwife who, when we were back on the ward, made sure we had a private room and even allowed my husband to stay overnight. #honeybeelinky

    • Oh my, your poor daughter, and poor you. That must have been terrible for you all. Glad you had a lovely nurse, having your hubby there overnight must have been so comforting x

  • Matthew Blythe

    This is lovely, it’s good see compassion and empathy in action x #Blogstravaganza

  • The Mummy Bubble Blog

    What a gorgeous post, I absolutely can relate to this. The NHS midwives who helped me during delivery were so so kind and lovely even though they were totally run off their feet with mums to look after. Loved reading this! Xx

    • I think they do a wonderful job considering the pressures they are put under! x

  • Mud Cakes and Wine

    I love this post and it made me cry xxx

  • Pam Lorimer

    This is lovely and im so glad you had such kindness! I had two horrible experiences and did not have any help aftr both births i was left to shower after having my daughter and slipped coming out and was just told off for making a mess! Nice to know there are nice nurses out there!

    • How horrible! I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get the support after such a tiring time! x

  • Twinmumanddad

    I remember reading that article too. It was brilliant and really struck a chord with me too. Great post. Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

  • Nicola Bromley

    To be honest I don’t remember much about after either of my births. I was in theatre after having my son and it’s all a bit of a blur. I do remember just going out to the shower with my other half after having my daughter and leaving her in the room! I think we were a bit shell shocked that it had all happened so quickly that we forgot to check someone was looking after her! The midwife just came and sat with her until we came back and then made us the best tea and toast I think I’ve ever tasted! Thanks for linking up with #blogstravaganza

    • I think they are so good at realising that it is a bit overwhelming and just help without any judgement. It is THE BEST tea and toast ever, says every mother everywhere lol x

  • The nurses have been great at both our babies birth. As you say – giving Mrs M the attention she needed, but without causing embarrassment. She also claims that the tea and toast was the best she has ever had! #thatfridaylinky

    • It is the best tea and toast ever – FACT! Glad Mrs M was also treated so kindly

  • Carol Cliffe

    So many nurses have been kind to me. Some are clearly overworked and knackered, but still can find a smile or a cheery word. This is a great post to highlight how kindness goes a long way, especially when we are feeling vulnerable. #Blogstravaganza

    • It is hard to see the nurses as overworked as they are (and underpaid!) Kindness does go along way x

  • The_tale_of_mummyhood

    This is such a lovely post. When I had my first I was looked after by an amazing HCA on the ward, I spoke about her kindness so many times afterwards. Fast forward 10.5 months, when I was in labour with my second, that same HCA was training to be a midwife and delivered our baby. I’ll forever be grateful that the same wonderful lady looked after us a second time. She’s such an angel, I’ll never forget her kindness. I’ve got a tear in my eye just thinking back! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    • They really are amazing and how lovely that she delivered your second x

  • Rebecca Hurr

    I cannot fault the midwives and nurses that helped delivery all six of my children. Unfortunately with my youngest son my placenta didn’t come away and I haemorrhaged resulting in emergency surgery. I was away with the fairies for some time and didn’t see my baby until the following day, the wonderful midwife took those precious first photos of my baby being weighed and having cuddles my husband. She also took care of my husband who had to deal with NICU and me being rushed away and she gave me liquid morphine! I will be eternally grateful to her.

    • Sounds scary! But sounds like you had a lovely midwife who made things a little easier for you and your husband.x