My Dearest Reuben,
I cannot believe that you are four years old! I know everyone says it but honestly it is the truth, the last four years have flown by.
From my ever-expanding waistline whilst I carried you to the person you are today. They say that parents teach their children so many things. Sitting, walking, talking. Yes, we helped you learn those but the biggest lessons were learned by me.
You have taught me so much these last four years.
You’ve taught me that it is OK not to be perfect. It doesn’t matter if the housework isn’t done everyday. You’ve taught me it is much more important to enjoy the company of those most important to us. That it is OK to be a fool. To ignore other people looking and let go, to have fun.
That’s not to say that I have completely let go.
I have told you to wait, that I am too busy, that I need to do something other than play. I’ve snapped and shouted at you when I have been tired. I’ve told you to stop doing what you’re doing when (in your eyes) all that you’re doing is having fun. And I have forgotten. I have forgotten what it is like to be a child, to run and want to keep going and at times I have been a bit of a kill joy. For that I am sorry.
Whilst I am sorry for ‘those’ days, I am not sorry for the way you are growing up. Only that it is happening too quickly!
Everyday you amaze me; watching you and the rate you learn. The way you question the world around you, you’re like a sponge absorbing as much information as possible.
Obviously I am sad to see your baby years go. Sad to have said goodbye to your toddler years, even your tantrums are becoming less frequent. But, I’m excited. Excited to see what happens in the years ahead. I love that we have random conversations on the way to nursery about planets and if there are aliens. The questions you have on topics that I might not be quite ready to talk about. But know this, I will always be honest with you. Even with the hard questions. I will always answer you honestly.
So my darling, on your fourth birthday. I hope that this final year before school is the best ever. That your days are full of fun and laughter and our time off together in the week is full of splashing in puddles, running in leaves and having fun. I cannot promise you that I will be perfect, or that I won’t have to do other things but do know that I will try more.
I love you baby boy.