Happy New Year!
So, here we are, 2019. I’ve had years where I have made resolutions, and not stuck to them. I’ve made promises to myself and not stuck to them. The whole New Year, New Me cycle that we all fall into and then the feeling bad because we didn’t achieve what we said we would. Well, not this year. No promises, no resolutions, no ‘failing’ this year. Not that I think you fail, even if that is what we tell ourselves. This year I will have hopes. If I am hopeful, I can be positive yet have no pressure.
As I look back over 2018 I can pinpoint lots of great things that happened to us in the year.
We had three holidays, Lanzarote, Butlins and then Glamping in Cromer (post coming soon).
Reuben started school and flourished. He made lots of friends, and enjoyed being with people. Reading, writing. All things he wasn’t interested in but now loves doing. His confidence with swimming grows.
Jessica grew so quickly, she learned so much. At the start of the year she could barely say Roo Roo and now she shouts Reuben all the time. She has conversations with us. She doesn’t wear nappies any more. She’s not a baby any more.
We moved. We actually moved. Something that Sam and I longed for, we spent ages talking about it, never thinking it would actually happen but it did.
And in amongst all the great things that happened I slowly fell apart. That is a difficult sentence to put together but it is the truth.
I fell apart.
I forgot to look after myself. Instead I piled everything up on to my own shoulders. I wouldn’t share the load with anyone. Booking hotels for this, carparks for that. Packing. Emailing the solicitor for this. Chasing the estate agent for that. Checking mortgage rates. Chasing for updates. Preparing for school. Preparing for school. Packing. Moving. Unpacking. Changing addresses. The list goes on and on.
Sam offered to help but I kept saying he couldn’t because of this reason, or that reason. Mum offered help, my sister offered help. I had a lot of help offered but for some reason I didn’t take anyone up on it. I just kept piling this on to my list, I would do it. I’m not even sure I know why I didn’t accept help from anyone, I guess I didn’t want to feel like a burden. Who knows. All that happened was I became stressed and upset. I would burst into tears all the time, argue with anyone and everyone – mostly Sam. I guess I became lost.
As with anything there is an end and I’m there now. But I know one thing, this year I need to be better at sharing the jobs with Sam, accepting help from other people, realising I’m not a burden, they are offering to help.
So, this year I am being hopeful. Hoping that I can learn from rough of 2018 and have more of the best. Here are my hopes.
- I can share the workload and accept help when it is given.
- To look after myself more. Put time aside each week to do something just for me.
- I can recognise my feelings and talk about them rather than bottle them up.
- We can have a relaxing year.
- I can be spontaneous once in a while. Not plan for everything.
- I can learn something new. I’m not sure what yet…
- Make someone happy by surprise.
- To see my friends and family more than I did last year, or at least message and call more often.
- To do nothing sometimes and not feel guilty about it.
- Go out as a family more.
So there’s my hopes for the year. Have you looked back on last year to make resolutions, promises or hopes for the coming year? Let me know what you’re hoping for this year!